My thinking has always been provoked by means of counteraction to my attempts to become a part of the system, society and world. When the situations began pouring out in order to tumble down all my plans and dreams, then my ordinary question arose – why things did not happen the way I wanted them to happen, the way I have already planned them. The doubt to the direction and going of my whole life emerged. There was no answer to this question but I had to know why. The first aim came up then – I had to know everything. I wondered if that was possible at all.
Encouraged by constant attempts of system agents to convince me that achieving my aims was impossible and that I am on a wrong way, I entered the endless wandering, searching for things, completely unknown at the present time. There was nobody to show me the right way, there was no help. Everything was wraped up in lies and absorbed in dense darkness. One person’s breakaway is not any problem for the system. This happened many times in the ages and the problem has always been solved but this time things did not happen that way and I did not know why, as the answers are more than one. Though I have started thinking, constantly and purposefully in fact, I did not know how to think and what a ‘mental process’ represents and where it happens. I have already specified that many mental processes were going in my mind, concerning other people’s problems and searching for their solution. It was interesting that those processes were running through my mind, were bothering me but I could not stop them. From that I reached a conclusion that there were things happening inside me, which were not mine. My private space was used by other people and there was no free space for me left. I could not manage to use my own things. My mind was like an unfenced courtyard.
The human attempts to think collide with the first problem – the intruders or the vampires. A human needs free space in order to think. What follows is that we have to free ourselves from the intruders. That happens by means of thought for the way of achieving it. No one leaves voluntary, no one will leave you alone just like that.
In order to get rid of the intruders, you will need to be hard and uncompromising. For the one determined to think, situations come up over and over again. For him the concept boredom and the statement – ‘I do not have anything to do’, do not exist. These are the excuses of the lazy one. Each situation can be an attack and a test at the same time. Each situation helps me to recognize my restrictions, to improve my thinking, to see the level I have reached and my capabilities at the moment.
From this point of view, I have provoked each situation that I am at in a way the desire to take part in it is mine, too.
The difference between the independent thinker and the one who does not think, is unnoticeable and the line between them is very fine. The mind of the not thinking person is programmed to be ruled by external factors. The rise of one event starts a program for reaction. If the program detects a given catchword, it will recall the one, which is recorded for recollection in conformity with the one perceived, but only this catchword, not any other. This applies to all kinds of actions, programmed to reproduce, in conformity with the recognized by the programmed mind in the situation.
At the beginning of independent thinking, things do not become particularly different. The difference here is that the same programs for thinking are started by the person himself, not by external factors and the programs for starting programs.
This process continues for a long time which can bring to despair. Programs for thinking accomplish the process of thinking, that is to say mediators. I will call this complex thinking. These programs are of different kind – for perception, for consideration, for conservation or preservation, for operation…
Despite all this, the first success is at hand – we have started to take control of our mind. But in order to think clearly, without mediators, and to take full control of our mind, we need to remove the programs and the mediators, to simplify our thought, to clear our mind from the useless things…